Your Unique Story
Think about a book, movie, or tv show that you like.
You’ve got one in mind?
Okay now think with me about the components of the story throughout that book, movie, or show. Whether it’s an ongoing or one-time story line, there’s a common plot that runs among them all.
➡️ Things are good (or at least somewhat normal) in the beginning. Then…
➡️ A character, or group of characters, faces a daunting circumstance that challenges their abilities and threatens the things they love. They must take a stand and fight. Then…
➡️ The character(s) come out of that circumstance victorious and things are returned to harmony and happiness.
Of course, there are stories that drift from this plot line a bit. For example, maybe the storyteller doesn’t start at the beginning but starts where the character has already faced hardship and is struggling with the after-effects of it.
But, time and time again, we see a story where the characters face and conquer a hard-fought battle. And we see this same plot line regardless of the genre, era, or fictionality of the story.
There’s 2 reasons most stories follow this same plot line (and it’s why we love so many stories):
They’re relatable
They’re encouraging
A story where a character faces hardship is relatable because it’s the same story of the human condition. It is what we live day in and day out. As we feel seen and validated in our own struggles a connection is made to the particular books, movies, and shows that represent the same, or similar, struggles.
Additionally, a story where a character overcomes hardship is encouraging in the way it provides hope. To see another person come out the other side of their struggles gives us an encouragement to believe that we can make it out to the other side as well. We are inspired and refreshed with hope.
But there’s a problem that arises when we go beyond the relatability and encouragement of a story. Far too often, we start to plug ourselves into the story that we’ve connected with.
No, we don’t start referring to ourselves as Cinderella or believing that our future spouse will find our missing glass slipper and tirelessly roam the country until he finds us. But we do find ourselves, whether consciously or subconsciously, hoping for the same outcome in our love life-someone who pursues us because they can’t live without us, someone who always makes us feel happy and carefree, someone to love us for who we are regardless of our social class or our upbringing.
Cinderella is more of a silly example, but the practice remains the same with any story. In Rom-Coms we plug our love life into the story and hope for the same romantic ending. In biographical works we connect with the struggle and subsequent victory of the person and we believe that we will get the same level of victory and redemption in our life. When we hear the testimony of someone being healed we think “God will heal me just the same!” When we read Scripture we praise God that He will destroy our enemies, just like He did for the Israelites.
We start to believe that these stories are OUR story.
But what happens when we don’t get the romantic relationship that others got? When we don’t see victory over circumstances, healing from our illness, or provisions in the same way we saw others receive them?
We’re confused, disappointed, angry, and even a little jealous that other people got certain outcomes that we didn’t get. We start doubting God’s love, His presence, and His plans for us.
While a story is written and shared to offer connection and encouragement, the purpose of a story is not to provide a script for our own life to follow.
This is something I’ve had to learn myself in recent years. I grew up reading the Bible by plugging myself into each and every story. I believed that the story of David and Goliath meant that I, Stephanie, would also slay the enemies in my life. I believed that the story of Peter walking on water also meant that I would conquer any impossible task set before me. I believed that each story of Jesus healing someone meant that Jesus would always heal me if I just ask.
Now, can God give us the ability to conquer impossible tasks? Absolutely! Does God heal people from disease? Yes! But Scripture does not provide us these stories so that we can predict exactly how God will work in our own personal situations. We are given these stories to inspire hope and to show us the many different ways God’s power can work in our lives.
In your own life, God may heal you or He may give you the strength to endure a chronic condition without ever being healed. He may even heal one illness early in your life but not another one later on. He may remove you from a bad situation or He may give you wisdom on how to live through it. However God chooses to work in our situations, it is perfectly fitted for our life and our story.
In the moments that you are tempted to plug your life into the story of someone else, remind yourself of the following truth: God has a unique story written for your life. It is one that only YOU can live. It will look differently than everyone else’s story; but that’s a good thing! We can free our mind from expectations and find peace when we realize that we are living a story unique to us. It may make life feel a little more unpredictable in the process, but we can trust that God is working in all the best ways to fulfill His plans for us.
Just because your life story doesn’t mirror that of someone else’s does not mean God has forgotten you, that you are undervalued, or that your story has ended.
In the moments that you feel like your struggles will last forever, remember this truth: The struggle is not the end of your story. Think back to the book, movie, or show I had you think of in the beginning of this post. Did that story just end in the midst of the main characters struggle? (Sure, maybe the episode did or one part of the series did, but think of the overall story being told.) That story doesn’t come to a conclusion until the main character has faced and conquered the challenges they were facing. The same is true for each and every one of us. The outcome may look different than others and “victory” may be defined in different ways. But as long as you are alive on this earth your story is still being written; and that means there is still hope for healing and redemption ahead.
The stories of others and the stories in Scripture are beautiful, helpful, and necessary. Keep listening to them! Keep finding connection and inspiration in them! Just don’t write over your own unique and beautiful story because you want it to look like someone else’s. You’ve been designed with a one-of-a-kind story to live out yourself, don’t throw that away!
-Stephanie Lauren Auman
