Serenity Now!
In an episode of Seinfeld George’s dad, Frank, starts listening to one of those motivational/instructional audio tapes designed to help people work through their problems. Frank takes up these audio tapes specifically to help with his anger management and reduce his blood pressure. (If you’ve never watched Seinfeld, both George and his dad have comically high levels of anger.)
The instructor on the tapes encourages the listener to say “serenity now” whenever they feel themselves getting angry. Throughout the episode, we see things frustrating Frank and him then angrily shouting, “Serenity now! Serenity now!”
The irony is made glaringly obvious. Frank shouts in anger the words that are meant to reduce his anger. It’s clear to the viewer that this method of simply repeating a phrase is ineffective in solving his problem.
The real irony though is that some of us fall for this same ineffective trap! We think that certain words, phrases, or verses have some type of magic behind them to suppress our anger, calm our nerves, ease our fears, rid us of bad mental health, heal our hearts, or control our behaviors.
Maybe you can relate to the following scenarios:
Life is bombarding you with circumstances that hurt your finances, your loved ones, your career, your mental health. You feel so overwhelmed and unsure of how to make it through each day. Depression and anxiety take hold of you. You turn to a friend, or even the internet, and ask for Bible verses to help rid you of depression and anxiety. But as you read these verses you notice that they’re not really helping. Nothing in your life is changing and you don’t feel any more at peace than before. Isn’t reading the Bible supposed to help us? Why isn’t it helping?
You’re a perfectionist and a worry-wart and you find yourself in a situation that you can’t control or predict the outcome. Someone offers you the serenity prayer to help. You recite it over and over but you still feel worried and still have a need to control all elements of the situation. Shouldn’t a prayer, or a wise quote, ease our worries and fix us?
We expect, just like Frank, that saying or reading specific words will work like some magic spell. But when it comes down to it, these phrases, quotes or verses are only words. A combination of vowels and consonants. There’s nothing inherently special or powerful about them. It would be no different to say “duck feet” or to speak utter gibberish and expect that these words have the same power to heal our hearts and fix our minds.
Let’s take 1 Corinthians 13 as an example. “The love passage” as it’s deemed by Christians and non-Christians alike. I’m sure you know it too: “love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy…” We hear it read at weddings and used in sermons on marriage.
But, just because these verses are recited at a wedding does not mean this couple now perfectly loves each other and is immune to divorce.
The words and sentiments of this passage are only truly effective when the couple:
Has a desire and willingness to love their partner in the best possible ways
Understands the truth behind the words of the passage
If this couple is not authentically motivated and willing to love their partner in the ways described in 1 Corinthians 13, then it doesn’t really matter how love is described in the passage. It might be a nice sentiment to read in a wedding ceremony but it has no effectiveness in the lives of the couple. They will not have a desire to be patient or kind in the marriage and thus those things will not be present.
Additionally, if the couple doesn’t understand the truth behind the passage then its effect on their marriage will only be a shallow one. If they have never experienced a moment where they had to show real patience or kindness, they likely do not understand the extent of humility that love requires in a marriage and will miss the depth of this truth in 1 Corinthians 13.
In order for the words of a phrase, quote, or Bible verse to effectively speak to our lives we must first have a willingness to grow and an understanding of the truth behind the words.
In the case of Frank Costanza, he never had the desire to begin with to truly rid himself of anger. But many of us here do have a desire and a willingness to grow and to work through our problems. So why is some Scripture still not overly effective in helping us?
For Scripture to have a positive and profound effect on our lives it needs to be understood and experienced, not just consumed or recited.
Scripture must be alive to us! John 11:35, “Jesus wept”, isn’t just a detail of a story that we brush over as we read the story of Lazarus. It is a reminder that Jesus had emotions. He felt sadness and fear and every other aspect of human life. As we understand this, and feel our own human emotions, Scripture now overlaps with our experience. And it is at this point that Scripture comes alive to us and its words have a powerful impact on us.
In my season of divorce, I came across a verse in Psalms that became words of wisdom and healing for me.
Psalm 18:30, “My God, His ways are perfect.”
The words of this Psalm weren’t powerful to me because I simply recited them. Nor did me praying these words suddenly make them true. They were powerful for me because they were already true and I had experienced that truth in my life.
I knew from experience and relationship with God that He would never fail me. I knew that, regardless of what my desired plans were, they could only ever be subpar to the flawless, loving, perfect plans of God.
Psalm 18:30 came to life for me. As a result, it brought me a peace and comfort I needed and it solidified my trust in God and His plans.
As Scripture overlaps with your experiences and comes to life for you, you will find the comfort, the peace, the answers, and the wisdom you need.
-Stephanie Lauren Auman
