The Resilient Heart
Well that about does it for our Bandaid Encouragements Series! As we wrap up in this last post, I want to give a hopeful perspective we can hold on to and offer insight into what it takes to become resilient in trials.
First let’s briefly review what we’ve discussed in the series so far.
In Part 1, we talked about the phrase “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. We mentioned that this phrase isn’t really accurate because a circumstance, or a thing, that threatens to harm us does not make us stronger (it actually initially makes us weaker). The truth is that it is our response to a circumstance that determines our ability to become stronger or our reluctance to become weaker.
Then in Part 2, we looked at James 1:2-4 that says to “consider it a great joy…whenever you experience various trials”. James is not scolding readers of this passage when they feel hurt, fear, or sadness in various trials; he does not tell us to suck it up and be happy. Rather, James offers wisdom that reveals to us the positive effects of choosing joy when facing trials.
Finally, in Part 3, we talked about 1 Thessalonians 5:18 and its challenge to “give thanks in all circumstances”. Often misinterpreted as a verse telling us to be grateful for everything (even the bad things), Paul is actually reminding us to give God thanks in everything. We choose to remember and reflect on who God is and all that He has already done for us, and we are grateful to Him as a result.
All 3 parts have helpful lessons-or perspectives-in and of themselves; but weaved throughout them we also see ingredients to a recipe for resiliency.
We need to add one more ingredient to this recipe though. To do that, let’s look at another popular verse used as a bandaid encouragement:
Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.”
There’s two parts of this verse that don’t always sit well with us because they don’t seem true.
First is the idea that all things work together. Typically, in the midst of hardship, the circumstances in our lives don’t work together, they are in conflict. A lack of income doesn’t “work together” with overwhelming expenses. Mental illness conflicts with the ability to have good, healthy relationships. It feels like all things work together about as well as water and oil work together.
Second is the thought that all these bad things will turn into good things for us. When we lose a marriage we believe that the good we’ll receive after that is a new, better marriage. We lose a job and assume that our next job will have double the pay, more vacation time, and a better boss. But when we don’t receive that “good” that we anticipated, we feel even more broken and hopeless than before.
I think one of the most effective ways to explain this verse is through the art of kintsugi. Some of you may have heard of it before, some of you may be thinking I suddenly forgot how to speak English.
Kintsugi is a Japanese art form where the artist deals exclusively with broken vessels. The technique involves mending the broken areas with urushi lacquer that’s dusted with gold, silver, or platinum (reference).
The purpose is to repair the broken item in a way that not only makes it stronger, but it also creates a new and unique design. What was once broken is not hidden, diminished, or thrown away. Rather, it is artfully crafted to highlight what is now repaired.
A kintsugi artist restores the piece by using materials more valuable than what was originally there. They showcase the former brokenness and find beauty in the new creation. (Are you drawing the parallels yet between Romans 8 and kintsugi?)
This art form is a beautiful perspective and a hopeful reminder of how God can mend us. The NLT version of Romans 8:28 words it this way: “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God”.
As the artist of our lives, God takes the good and the bad and molds them together.
We may not look like we used to, we may never be made of the same stuff again, but God isn’t interested in returning us to the past. He is interested in showing off the beauty of His masterpiece: YOU. The broken you, the imperfect you, the restored you. And the “good” that God brings about is a good that mends our hearts, renews our minds, brings peace to our soul, and gives us hope.
The last ingredient in our recipe for resiliency, that we get from Romans 8:28, is hope. Hope that can take this verse as a real encouragement in the midst of trials. Hope that says “I don’t know how things are going to turn out but I know that God can use all things, good or bad, for the sake of my ultimate good and His ultimate glory.”
So here it is, the recipe for resiliency:
WISDOM + DISCIPLINE + HOPE = RESILIENCY
“Wait, are you saying that resiliency isn't sheer grit and willpower?”, you might ask. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying! Resiliency is not barreling through hardship by suppressing emotions and ignoring the experience.
Resiliency is responding to hardship with the wisdom and discipline to find joy (James 1:2-4) and practice gratitude (1 Thessalonians 5:18) while holding on to the hope that God will use this circumstance to mend us, mold us, and make us new (Romans 8:28).
-Stephanie Lauren Auman
