Stuck in Limbo
Do you feel stuck in limbo right now?
For years you’ve been desperately searching and longing for a romantic relationship. You’ve seen countless couples get together, get engaged, get married, and start their family. You’ve done everything that’s advised-worked on yourself, gone out to meet new people, joined community hobby groups, etc-but it’s all been to no avail.
Or maybe you feel stuck in your mental health journey. You’ve been going to therapy, pouring your heart out, shedding tears, and yet you still feel consistently depressed and hopeless. You’re waiting for the day that a certain smell or song doesn’t trigger your traumatic memories anymore. You wonder if you’ll ever be mentally whole.
Time keeps ticking, life keeps happening, everyone around you keeps moving on to newer and better things. But you are stuck in the same unwanted spot while everyone else passes by. It feels like even God has passed you by at this point; He must have moved on to more important people.
The pain of our fears and insecurities cut deeper and deeper as we sit in limbo.
We start to ask questions like:
“Why is God letting this happen? Why is He not giving me a sign or some sort of acknowledgement that He’s still listening? Why do I feel like I’m being punished? Do I not deserve happiness, healing, and success like this other person who has all those things?"
We start to feel like Abraham, Habakkuk, the Psalmists, the Israelites, and others in the Old Testament who asked in their waiting and suffering, “How long, oh Lord?”
Limbo is a miserable place to be because we understand the frailty and hastiness of life. We only get so much time on this earth so why is God not putting a rush order on our circumstances??
But what if…God intended our life to look a little different than what we thought? What if a successful and fulfilling life is measured by things other than our cultural landmarks? What if limbo is less about our reality, and more about our mindset?
There are 2 major behaviors that contribute to the mindset that our life is stuck in limbo.
We compare our life to others
We are constantly looking and longing behind or ahead
When we compare our finances, relationships, health, or spirituality with others who seem to be more successful in those areas, we are left feeling behind and even stuck where we are. We see professional athletes with a career making millions of dollars in their 20’s and here we are, in our 30’s, still unsure of what we’re good at or passionate about. We see others fully living the American Dream and we’re just trying to keep our head above water in all areas of life.
It seems as if God has chosen His favorites. He’s blessed and sent privilege to certain people, but apparently we didn’t make the cut. He’s passed right by us.
When we constantly look and long behind or ahead at our own life, it makes our present feel stuck. We may have had the perfect job or relationship, but we no longer have it now. We feel like we’ve been dropped back to square one and have to start over. We long to go back to “the good ole days”. We may have looked forward to being a mom for as long as we can remember, but we haven’t gotten there yet and it feels like life is incomplete until that happens.
We are acutely aware of our present circumstances, and we don’t like them. It’s not what we ever anticipated, or hoped, or planned. We are stuck in limbo, waiting for the next good thing we want.
But it is not the reality of these circumstances that causes us to feel stuck. Yes, there is the reality that we don’t have the same things others have, things we can’t just speak into existence or take for ourselves. But, it is our mindset on the value of those things that causes us to feel left out when we don’t have them.
We feel snubbed by God when we don’t make a lot of money because we believe that a lot of money equals a lot of happiness. We feel inadequate in our singleness because we believe that another person in our lives is what gives us value. We feel stuck because we’re in a waiting season but we believe that life should always be “go, get, achieve, conquer”.
Here’s the mindset shift we need to have: God has a beautiful and unique story written out for YOUR life! It might not look like someone else’s story, it might not be what you thought, it might have been tainted by other people’s hurtful actions against you, there may have been setbacks or delays because you made a mistake, and there may also be prolonged times of waiting as God prepares you and your circumstances. But you are never stuck.
You are never overlooked or undervalued by God. And this season of your life is not a waste.
As a Floridian, I always dread the worst months of summer (June-August). The heat is unbearable and the humidity is intolerable. For as long as I can remember I’ve always wished away the summer months and looked ahead to the next season. There’s NOTHING good about summer in Florida (in my opinion anyways). But this year I’ve had a refreshed mindset.
I still think summer here is generally miserable. I don’t look forward to going outside. I will always prefer any other season (fall, winter, spring). But instead of wishing away 25% of my life each year, I’ve decided to look for the things I can do and/or appreciate in this season. Things that I won’t have in other seasons.
I take advantage of swimming as a fun form of exercise that switches up the normal exercise routine. I get to spend more time on indoor hobbies like reading and puzzles and movie nights. I get to see the beauty of nature in its most vibrant form; the trees and grass are greener than ever, the flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping.
If you feel stuck in any area of your life, I encourage you to do the same. You don’t have to fall in love with the season you’re in, you don’t even have to understand why God has you in that season, but take some time to look for the things you can appreciate. Take advantage of the things you are able to do now that you won’t be able to do in the next season of your life.
There are things to be learned and appreciated in all seasons of life. If you want to feel less stuck, then get out of the mindset that you are stuck! 😊 You might be waiting, dreaming, preparing, or resting; but you aren’t stuck unless you choose to be.
-Stephanie Lauren Auman
