This World Hurts…

This world hurts.

Rejection hurts. Abandonment hurts. Loss hurts. Death hurts. Betrayal hurts. Broken promises hurt. Health problems hurt. Abuse hurts. Poverty hurts.

There’s no special words or sentiments to change this truth. There’s no therapy or spiritual practice that, if done correctly, will put a “hurt-free” bubble around us.

Sure, hopeful and positive thoughts can give us a renewed perspective, but they don’t change the fact that we have been hurt and, as long as we live on this earth, will continue to face future hurts.

This isn’t sounding very uplifting right now, I know. But that’s actually my point with this writing. Many of us today have lost the ability, the patience, or the knowledge to properly grieve our hurts. We’ve been guided (or guilted) to push through the emotions and jump right to positive thoughts. And I want to push back on that by giving us space here to grieve as needed.

If you’re looking for a “yeah this world hurts BUT look at all the positives in your life!” blog, you won’t find it in this one. (That doesn’t mean there aren’t positives in life-this world is not all bad-but that’s not going to be our focus.)

If you’re hurting right now, you’re free to grieve in this space. Actually, you’re encouraged to grieve in this space.

Processing hurt and learning to grieve has been a lesson in my own life lately. I’ve seen friends go through major surgeries and cancer treatments. I’ve lost family members who were too young to pass away. There’s been injuries and health scares among family and friends. I’ve had to keep a revolving door of prayer requests written down at all times.

If it’s not one thing, it’s another. As soon as one prayer is answered disaster strikes in someone else’s life. It hurts to see the people I love hurting, especially knowing I can’t fix the problem.

And then to look beyond my circle of people and see all the hurt in my city, in this country, around the world? All I can think or pray some days is “God, this world really hurts”. In those moments, I’m tempted to give myself a pep talk and tell myself to stop sulking. Or, when I think of what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of their loved one my instinct is to go right for the “hey at least they’re in a better place”. But neither of these allow for proper grieving, and we need to grieve.

Not only is it okay/allowable to grieve, it’s the proper response to loss and hurt. I think this may be where we get tripped up and assume that we have to get through grief like it’s an inconvenience. Or like we’re so weak and pathetic that we have to let grief do its thing before we can get back to happy and fulfilling lives. But grief is as much a part of this life as joy; and nobody shames us for instinctively celebrating the good things, do they? Likewise, there should be no shame or condemnation in grieving when we’re faced with hurt.

Grief is an appropriate response to loss.

Anger is a normal response to pain.

Withdrawal is a typical response to fear.

Sadness is an expected response to hurt.

Loss, pain, fear, and hurt are not part of God’s best plans for us. So it is appropriate that we grieve the things that hurt His beloved creation.

Jesus demonstrated grief for us in His response to the death of His friend Lazarus. In John 11 we’re told that the sisters of Lazarus sent word to Jesus that he was sick and needed healing. However, by the time Jesus made His way to them Lazarus had died.

Verses 32-33 say, “When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.’ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” Then verse 35 tells us that Jesus wept.

Why did Jesus even weep though? He knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead. Even if He didn’t He knew Lazarus would be in Heaven. He could have told the people to stop crying, be positive, and get over it. But He doesn’t. He weeps with them instead.

Jesus feels the hurt of the death of a friend, He feels the hurt of seeing others mourning, and He likely grieves the painful reality that death exists at all. Despite His foreknowledge that death will one day be no more, Jesus still grieves all of it in the present and does so with the others who are grieving.

What hurts are you dealing with in your life? Do you need to give yourself time and space to grieve them? If you want to, put them in the comments below and grieve your heart out! I will grieve those hurts and weep with you.

-Stephanie Lauren Auman