An Introduction to Pivotal Pain
Two years ago, to the day, I spoke for a women’s service at my church and shared my hard story of divorce for the first time. That day was [almost] two years since the marriage ended. Healing doesn’t happen over night. Finding purpose from our pain takes time.
When I shared my story that day I hoped it might help one or two people; that’s a win in my book! I never expected the amount, or types, of responses I ended up receiving. Turns out, people connect deeply with both pain and hope. It was a blessing to see how my pain could become a story of hope for others. The spark of empathy in my heart for the “poor in spirit” caught fire that day; and thus the idea and passion for Pivotal Pain started to develop.
Piv•ot•al
“of crucial importance in relation to the development or success of something else”
Let’s be honest, some pain is downright unnecessary. Stubbing your bare pinky toe on the dining room chair? Nobody ever wins from that. (Okay so maybe the pain signal does mean your body is working properly and is warning you not to do that again; not entirely useless. But does it really have to hurt as bad as it does??) These types of pain are just a nuisance we learn to deal with as a part of life. More often than not though, the painful circumstances we face can be helpful, meaningful, and pivotal in our personal growth.
Sure, we could just grin and bear it. We could run from our pain. We could allow our emotions to steer us. I’ve tried all of those…and it’s a miserable way to survive. I think you’ll find that same conclusion yourself if you try to ignore or avoid pain long enough. If you and I miss the opportunity of growth from pain then we miss living.
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” -John 10:10
God’s purpose for all of His creation is not destruction, but flourishing. That doesn’t mean life on this earth is suddenly pain free when we follow God’s plan. I’m certain I don’t have to convince you of that reality. What it means is this: as we walk this journey through life we have hope, purpose, and joy because we know God can use anything and everything, including pain, to bring about His purpose for us. We know that life flourishes through God’s ongoing, redemptive work.
I want to be sure you know that Pivotal Pain is a safe space. There is space here to:
•feel your emotions
•wonder why this painful circumstance has come your way
•grieve
•not be okay
•long for answers or comfort
You won’t get any “just get over it” or “you don’t have enough faith” comments from me. There is no shame or condemnation for what you’ve been through. I simply want to help you respond to your pain in a way that cultivates an environment for healing and growth to take place. This will take some work, it will take perspective shifts, it will take an uncertain amount of time and patience. I promise you though, it will be SO worth it.
When we learn how to respond to pain we create space for mental health to improve, for relationships to flourish, for meaning and purpose to become evident around us, for hope to become an anchor, for faith to grow, and for a better quality of life overall. We don’t have to crawl through life, battered and bruised, barely surviving on our own efforts. We can live the rich, satisfying life God has planned.
-Stephanie Lauren Auman
*Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. I cannot diagnosis or give treatment plans for mental health. None of this content is designed, or qualified, to replace counseling sessions with a mental health professional.